By Jeannine Deitos, Clinical Psychologist at Holistic Centre, HealthBay
Since we were born, people around us are telling us about what is right and what is wrong. They show us what would be the best path to follow and what’s to be expected each step of the way. Moreover, there is a certain ongoing pattern in those steps that gets passed through your family line, such patterns often go on generation after generation.
Then, according to this pattern, we plan everything: the age we are going to finish school when we would start and finish university when to get married and to have kids, and so on. Every single step well planned out. But what would happen if things don’t pan out the way we planned them? What if suddenly other things or events present themselves in front of us changing the rest of our journey?
How can you deal with such events? How can the family deal with those things? Are YOU ready to be flexible with yourself and to leave your comfort zone in order to change the pattern? Are you willing and to create a different journey for your future?
This is a very common topic that often gets explored during psychotherapy sessions. It is a wide subject that can deeply affect different areas of life, especially when it pertains change as it may lead through a journey of frustration and acceptance, requiring a new-found flexibility and self-awareness.
From the moment when things haven’t gone the way you planned them you need to take stock of the situation, accepting to look within in order to recognize this “deviation” as change and therefore to take this as an opportunity to grow. It is fundamental to understand that this shift can only happen when you accept to leave the comfort zone of your expectations. It is also important to understand that this process is not a failure but it can propel you towards a “better version of yourself” , one that falls away from rigid family patterns and linear expectations.
Psychotherapy can assist this process by helping you to recognize these often-subconscious expectations as patterns and it can help you to take ownership of your journey going forward. Such unconscious patterns are deeply wired within. This process can, therefore, be truly painful because it requires a deep and brave self-evaluation and self-acceptance. The end of this journey, however, will see you reborn with a newfound self-knowledge of your values and their priorities.
This is a process of creation and transformation. This is how things can be transcended within taking you far beyond your initial expectations. To change your subconscious patterns is to deal with the unknown and unexpected of life. What now? Are you ready to deal with your fears and frustrations and to try again?
Are you open to learning more about who you really are?
To question yourself can be the first step towards a big change in your life. Don’t be afraid to transform yourself into a more real YOU!
To make an appointment with Jeannine Deitos, please contact Holistic Centre by calling 04 341 3800.